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     Hey there, Poonaholics, Nate Diamond here -- Larry Poon's manager and two-time cicaeda eating champion of New Mexico. We here at "Nate Diamond's Talent Booking and Salvage Yards" have heard your cries... and you are screaming to pay for Poon. We're here to help in your hour of need - so buy some of this crap or I'll fire all these kids we hired in Bangladesh.  Larry Poon Mug --- $19.99 "There's no better way to start the day then with a Larry Poon mug full of your favorite coffee. Well, maybe if you were getting a blumpkin while you enjoyed that coffee... but either way -- this Mug is a need for a truly amazing morning!"  Larry Poon Floss --- $1.99 (per foot) "Nothing's more important to Larry Poon than your dental hygene habits, and he's doing his part to make sure you get all the little bits of lunch, dinner, semen, or whatever you put in your mouth out of those pesky gaps in your teeth. This was all floss used by Larry Poon on his "Floss Across America Tour (Summer 2005)", and all floss has been personally packed by Larry Poon's driver Ralphie personally. A deal at half the price!"  "Poonified" Doormat --- $39.99 "Some pompous douchebags may also be selling doormats, but none of their doormats have the heavenly vision of Larry Poon smiling up at them while they wipe the dog shit off their feet. This is most likely your only chance to run your shoes, sandals, flip-flops, or your bare genitalia on Larry Poon's face, so take advantage of this item while it's in stock!!"  Toner Cartridge --- $34.99 "What the hell is this faggot crap? Did I order these? I've really got to lay off the blow... anyway, this is some toner for some printer or another. I don't know... What? I ordered 3,000 of these fuckers? Jesus... Uh, every order of $100 or more gets a free toner cartridge!" Please send all orders to Nate Diamond's Merchandise Emporium, and a reply will be sent to you within 10 business days regarding payment and where to send your stuff. Remember, all Poon-Nation members get a 5% discount*, and all these items make great gifts for weddings, holidays, funerals, or just when you want some of your old lady's tang. Keep checking back for new items, and as always... Keep on Rockin'. - Nate Diamond *Discount does not apply on mugs, floss, doormats, or toner cartridges. |
  
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For booking and promotional information, contact Nate Diamond Talent Booking and Salvage Yards.
Website designed and maintained by Th3 H4rdk0r3 Gn0m3 (under direct supervision by Nate Diamond Industries)