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     Born Lawrence Poonowski, June 197X, Larry grew up in the tough "CrackLand" housing projects in S.E. Washington, DC. Larry began his career as a radio disc jockey going by the name “Hot Boy” Larry Poon. Fed up with the cookie cutter ways of corporate radio, Larry quit radio to try and make it big in the burgeoning DC hip-hop scene. One fateful night, Larry was in a DC nightclub washroom, dropping a deuce and singing an electrifying version of NWA's "Express Yourself." A local record label producer named Krazy with a K was in the very next stall and immediately slid a contract under the stall door. A few months later Larry would make his mark on the hip-hop scene as a guest on Local DC Hip Hop Legend Weegie's 1999 hit, "Red Light! Green Light!" Larry took his act to Europe. His highly stylized debut album "Poonified" (download the single here) topped the charts in Luxembourg for 44 weeks. To this day, Larry Poon is the only artist to have a song air on all 9 of Luxembourg's radio stations. The album was not warmly received by music critics, but still managed to sell more than 450,000 records in a country with a population of 454,157. However, high production and promotional cost (including giving away 25 euros with each album) would later lead to financial woes which are still plaguing the artist today. Rap Pioneer Afrika Bambaataa , once declared Poon: "Pound for pound, note for note, word for word, the best entertainer I have ever seen in my life." "Larry Poon is a man for all seasons, all people, all times. His name has, in the hearts of millions, become synonymous with peace, love and brotherhood." With those words, Congressman Les Aspin of Wisconsin concluded his breakfast with waffles. Yo, Nate Diamond here, Larry's agent. Larry is far too busy touring and preparing for his annual televised Christmas Special to answer any questions, so I've taken some time out of my busy schedule to answer some of the many questions I get daily about America's Entertainer, Larry Poon. Q: Who is Larry Poon? A: Read the bio, jackoff. Larry Poon is perhaps the very future of entertainment. Q: Where can I see Larry Poon? A: Well, a smarter person would check Larry's schedule, but if that's still not good enough, you can email me, Nate Diamond, and I'll make sure you get an email sent to you. If that's not good enough, then you are too stupid to appreciate Larry Poon anyway. Q: Can I book Larry Poon for my wedding / youngest daughter's sweet 16 party / third annual PTA bake sale / etc.? A: Of course you can. Larry Poon is an entertainer for all occasions. In order to book Larry Poon, email me and make sure to have your checkbooks handy. Larry doesn't work cheap. Neither does Nate "Ninety Percent" Diamond. Q: I think Larry Poon may be the father of my unborn child. I need him to take a paternity test. A: First off, that's not a question. Secondly, I'm fairly positive Larry Poon did not get you pregnant. Larry uses the tried and true "pull out and smear it around" method. It must be some other random guy you slept with. Try this next time - put your knees together, and keep them that way. Q: I'm just starting out as an entertainer... does Larry have any advice to offer me on being successful? A: Larry doesn't give out advice for free, at least he better not be. I'll give you some advice I gave out a few years ago to a then unknown ex-radio DJ (Larry Poon, dumbass) "If you've got talent, you'll be a great entertainer. If not, you'll die penniless and alone, disillusioned and jaded, and probably strung out on heroin. Now get out there and entertain!" I hope all your questions have been answered, and if not, you can always email me and I'll clear things up for you. Keep on rockin'. - Nate Diamond |
  
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